Missing you...

Having fun with friends is awesome.
Going places and finding the nature's beauty, feeling the warmth, catching the breezy air in the seasides... Surfing and swimming in swimming pools and Oceans... Everything is so cool... Showing the importance of living.

But,

In some corner of the Heart, gets a pain...
How good it would be if you are also there with me to witness these...
Finding us in every couple passes by in resorts, and feeling we would have also ended up like this...
The dreams of how and where should we go and explore the world with this tiny word,
Love...

But everything stays as dream....

Every minute that found to be beautiful, needs your nearness to be full-filled...
But as always, I stay as person who needs everything to the satisfactory, but never gets it!


You are the most precious thing happened ever in my life, and that too will stay, ever!

~Heart Speaks

Gone are the days....

Never felt this much numb before...

Earlier it was A R Rahman's soothing romantic melodies and Raaja's rare fast beat songs that made my life.
And now, it is the freaking Linking Park, Eminem...
oh yeah, Taylor swift too, only the sad ones...
And at times, Ed Sheeran! What is wrong with me, have I ever imagined I would listen to Ed Sheeran?

Yeah you told me, when we had a fight the other day, the other year, "Listen to this song from Ed Sheeran, I fear we might end up like this"...
I was like, "You silly, we will be together, forever!"

Did you really mean it that time, my love?

When I was studying average, you made me study more,
when I was targeting the class topper, you were there with me, encouraging me,
When I got promoted at office, you were the first one to know that, and that joy you have passed made me think of go more higher and higher....

But now, I feel empty, the willingness to perform is drastically dropped.
I don't care about innovations... How come I'm an apple fan?
Easily giving up on any tasks... How come I'm an Aussie fan?
All these days I was thinking the sports teams and their attitudes reflected in me,
But the reality is, YOU have reflected in my every blood and vein.
I was a big fan of YOU, and since you have gone, my attitudes also have gone.

People around me are supporting me, encouraging me...
having awesome friends who I will never forget in life, having good siblings, but their encouragement is not bringing back the real me...
It is just YOU I want, to get the real ME back,
and I'm worried I might not get myself back again.

Is Love that Powerful....
Ask a person who failed, He will tell you the power of Love!

~Shanan

You name it....

Not feeling all right...

Checking her FB everyday in curiosity to know if she updated anything there...

If there's no new things, then feels somewhat down...

And today, when checked suddenly there were changes...

Cover Pic and Profile Pic Both changed!

Technically I should be happy, but once saw a change in her profile and saw her pics,

My whole body is shivering, my lungs losing air, heart beating very fast...

Is this because of I saw her after years?

Or because of the fact she is no more mine?

Or is it because she has changed a lot and look so beautiful and she hates me now?

If you name this feel, this lost in translation feel,

Then that is what the definition of :

"Pain of Love"

~Shanan

Hello from the other side

Hello, it's me, I was wondering
If after all these years you'd like to meet to go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal, yeah
But I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There's such a difference between us
And a million miles

Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?

It's no secret
That the both of us are running out of time

So hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Ooh, anymore
Ooh, anymore
Ooh, anymore
Anymore...

Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

~Shanan

Reality!!!

Its not about me...

There is this guy, who is a normal human being. And as all the normal human beings do, he also have a love story. But due to some reasons, the love story got broken down in between, from the girl's side, reasons were not clear, nor acceptable for this guy.

Now, every human being fall in love, and almost 25% of them makes it to the marriage. the rest? well, probably ends up marrying someone else and some go extreme and having no marriage life in their future.

Now, imagine how hard it is to that guy. Say his love affair was strong, he had a roadmap about his future with that young lady, he planned things for them, dreamt a lot about the life he is going to have with her, etc, etc, etc...

But, all of a sudden these all are in vain. Acceptable that this is not a big deal when compared to the pains the poor people all over the world facing in their daily routine, but for him, this pain is somewhat bigger than any pain in the world.

There are so many problems he need to face: Assume he is of late 80's born guy. then by this time he will be ( he is! :) ) nearing his thirties... by this time if his story goes for a fluster, then how can he start for a new life with someone else? almost all of his batch mates and guys younger to him would have been engaged. So who is he going to find for himself? Its always very much hard to find a match when you are in late twenties, and falling in love for the second time is only possible in movies. Plus if you have to go for a girl, then definitely you won't be getting someone younger than 22 as of now. because time had gone when he spent almost 7 or 8 years in his relationship with that girl, meantime everyone of his age or younger got married or engaged. And only the girls of age 22 are remaining in the marriage market. Then this age gap itself will be a big problem for him to suffer in marriage life.

The next problem is his life, his real working and scholastic life. When a guy is in love failure, he will not be having the mindset of listening to his lead's "innovation" ideas and if he is a software geek, he will lack in concentration. which will badly affect the hierarchy of that guy, he won't go places as expected. its kind of the time he performs neutral or low. a period which in software companies referred to as " bench". It drastically affects his career, he will not get the salary he expect to have, he will not get the promotion he was waited for, and more over, he will sulk on the job because even though he earns all, he doesn't have a girl to share the joy of him. Usually the geek guys  will be having relationships, they may vary, one to one, one to many, etc. But this guy will be noted by girls as a loser since he don't have a catch, and that thinking will increase when he don't perform well at work as well.

One more thing is his family. The cousins and younger siblings of him will be thinking of him as a useless guy. Reasons are a lot. cousins of parallel age would have been married 2 or 3 years earlier and by now would be having kids too. So they will be thinking about this guy as he is a waste of the country, as he is not having a girl and he is not even trying to marry someone. (yes, this guy will not like to marry since he has that girl in his mind still) Younger siblings will take him as a stupid kiddo since those youngsters would be having affairs, so he will be the stopping point for their marriage.

Altogether, its a sick and heck kind of situation for him. He will survive, I guess.

P.S : Again, its not about me...